I have a question for all my male readers (and any females who care to comment, naturally): how do you—or would you—feel about fucking a virgin? (I apologize for the crude language, but “having sex with” is just too many words; it impedes the flow of the language.) This is a question I have tried to ponder from the male perspective for quite some time, but ultimately I arrive at too many possibilities to settle on any one answer—hence the poll present to you, my readers.
Obviously, a your feelings would be largely dependent upon your own sexual status, so let’s start out assuming you have “experience.” On one hand, deflowering a virgin could be quite a heady experience. This girl/woman is uncharted territory: no other man has ever seen her this way or done these things to her. You own this experience, and no one else will ever be able to take this role in her life. Plus, you can’t go wrong, because she has nothing to compare this experience to, so this means your “performance stress” should be next-to-nothing.
But then, of course, there are drawbacks. You will likely have to serve as her mentor or teacher of sorts, as she certainly doesn’t have any experience upon which to fall back. The whole experience might prove to be incredibly boring or worse—uncomfortable—and there is no telling ahead of time, since even she doesn’t know how she’s going to behave. Here, temperament indicates nothing: the most outgoing flirt could be boring or insecure in bed, whereas the quietest library mouse might be the biggest moaner you’ve ever known. You just don’t know.
Now, let’s consider if you’re a male virgin. On one hand, the girl is also a virgin, at least she can’t compare you to anyone. You won’t have to live up to anything more than some potential romantic idealism, and if she really thinks she loves you, then even failing to live up to that ideal will likely be forgiven.
However. If this is the first time either of you has done this, neither one of you will know what to expect, nor what to attempt. You can read ten karma sutra books, but until you physically try anything, you’re not going to know what to do. At least if the girl had experience, she could walk you through things and help you to please her. So really, as charming as two virgins marrying and spending their wedding night “together” may sound, it ultimately seems like one big recipe for Awkward.
On the other hand (how many hands there are to this situation, I haven’t quite determined), you don’t want a girl with too much experience. That’s just gross. Girls who put out regularly have reputations, and as far as I know, they’re not considered desirable or sexy.
So I guess the real question is: is being a virgin considered sexy? Can it make you desirable? Or is it, in reality, the opposite—a deterrant for any guy who either a) doesn’t want to play teacher or b) doesn’t know what he’s doing himself?