Compliments

What exactly does “down to earth” mean? That was the compliment I received last night, right before a goodnight kiss was proposed (I turned it down), and I spent the remainder of the evening thinking about whether it accurately described me and whether or not I was pleased to be thought of in that manner. I suppose it is a pretty accurate description—I am practical and rational, if I am anything—but for some reason it just doesn’t ring out like a compliment I should want to receive.

I think who I receive a compliment from dictates whether or not it is a compliment. For instance, I would never take a statement like “You look best like this” [in sweatpants and a T-shirt] as a genuine compliment from anyone other than Ben. I just know it wouldn’t be true, because no one else dresses like me and thinks about clothing the way I do except for him, so no one could use that as an honest compliment.

I guess it’s difficult to explain. Similarly, the only people who could ever tell me I am growing up to be anything like my mother and have that be a compliment would have to be those people who know my mother intimately: my father or Emily or my mother herself. It’s a bit difficult to explain, but compliments—true, honest, deeply felt compliments—are more complicated than they seem.