The Single Life

Ordinarily, being single does not bother me. In many regards, I quite like it—I enjoy the broad freedoms that people in relationships simply do not have. For instance, no one can lay claim to my time except for me. I can hang out with whatever friends I want whenever I want. I can move to England for six months without feeling like I am cutting off a person-shaped appendage in the process. I do not have to worry about whether or not to have sex before marriage (well, I suppose I could still worry about that, but without a guy to whom I am immensely attracted and feel an intimate emotional connection, the option seems much less appealing). I can seek whatever job I want wherever in the country (or even world) I want without the risk of feeling like I am leaving someone behind. Basically, being single provides me the freedom to think of myself and my own desires first.

Needless to say, being single comes with its disadvantages, too. Perhaps it is my age (isn’t early twenties when women approach their sexual peak?), perhaps it is my personality, perhaps it is even what the media has taught me I should want, but if there is one frequent regret I have about being single, it is that I have no big warm male body to cuddle with. (I’m a girl—I want to be held!) Also, I have no automatic company for attending functions; I must attend them alone. Granted, this “lack of partner” can be a positive aspect of singleness, as it probably facilitates meeting new people and being social with all of the members of a party/gathering/event, but there is also no one on whom to fall back when I feel excluded, unknown, or simply bored.

However, the disadvantage to being single I have most recently confronted is the fact that I have no one to spend the holidays with. Now, I readily acknowledge that this is a very “blanket” statement, and one which is easily refutable. “What about your family?” “Don’t you have any friends?” Both family and friends are viable options on most occasions, hence why I have never considered this feature a serious disadvantage before. I always spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with my family. I celebrate my birthday, the Fourth of July, and Halloween with my friends. However, New Year’s has always been split. I used to spend it with my family and family friends when I was growing up. Sometime near the end of junior high school or at the beginning of high school, I began to attend New Year’s Eve parties thrown by friends. Effectively, where and how I would spend my New Year’s Eve has never been a problem…until this year.

Originally, I was supposed to spend New Year’s Eve with my dear friend Emily. However, when she later decided to spend the evening with her boyfriend Jake’s family and sleep over at his house, my invitation was (understandably) revoked. My friend Kelly had plans to see the Clarks play at First Night downtown with her boyfriend John, so I could not very well invite myself along to that concert. My other friend Emily invited me to hang out with her and her boyfriend at their house, but at this point I decided that being a third wheel would not make for a very pleasant New Year’s celebration, so that option was out, as well. This left me with two remaining possibilities (or, rather, three if I decided to stay home and sulk instead). On one hand, I could spend the evening with my parents. They were going to see a movie and get dessert, and my dad repeatedly assured me that I was “more than welcome” to come along. However, this again would make me a third wheel, even if the couple was my parents. On the other hand, my alternate option was to attend a party being thrown by a friend of Vicky’s. At this party, I would allegedly know very few people (including the host, whom I have only met a handful of times) and most likely spend my night watching everyone get drunk and play beer-pong.

In short, neither option sounded great; so in the end, I chose to try both. First, I went and saw The Great Debaters with my parents. At the theatre, we ran into several other couples—all my parents’ age, and all sans-kids. Every time we ran into another couple, I felt like there was a great big sign around my neck announcing: “No, I do not have anything better to do than tag along with my parents on New Year’s Eve. Yes, I am single.” Afterward, I drove to Vicky’s friend’s party (his name is Drew), where I spent a majority of the time declining celebratory liquor shots and refilling the beer pitcher for the pong table.

On a positive note, I do enjoy spending time with my parents, and the movie was better than I had expected. I like Denzel Washington as an actor, and the other younger actors and actresses in the movie were very talented. Additionally, the party was not a total loss, since it allowed me to spend time with a few old high school friends. One of them even flirted with me pretty shamelessly, so I cannot claim to have had a miserable time.

My New Year’s Proposition: Embrace single-ness. You never know when it might end.

Welcome to 2008.