How to Do a Relationship

As most of my close and even casual friends know, I have never officially had a boyfriend before. Therefore, this whole “dating exclusively” thing is completely uncharted territory for me. Granted, there is a basic protocol that most people follow:

• Boy meets Girl (or vice versa—but for the sake of this example, let’s leave Boy first).
  
• Boy asks Girl out on a date.
  
• Boy and Girl kiss.
  
• Boy and Girl decide to become exclusive.
  
• Boy and Girl move in together.
  
• Boy and Girl get married.
  
• The End.

Obviously, this is a simplified version of a long and ordinarily complex story. Maybe Girl asks Boy on the date. Maybe Boy and Girl don’t move in together before marriage. Still, intuition tells us where these events would or would not occur. Boy and girl might hold hands in public before becoming exclusive; but probably not before the first kiss (unless there is some sort of religious stance at play, permitting hand-holding but not kissing). They almost certainly wouldn’t sleep in the same bed before the first date, barring any drunken frat circumstances.

I, however, defy tradition.