Saturday, October 22, 2011

Weekend Rant: Clothes Shopping

Everyone has their clothes shopping rant. Here's mine:

I hate clothes shopping. I especially hate shopping for pants or shoes, but really, if the activity involves artistic scrutiny of my own body and removing-and-donning-and-removing attire, I basically detest it.

The reason I particularly abhor shopping for pants or shoes is because of my size. I am a 5'9" proportionally long-legged girl (woman? lady? they don't have a "young woman's" section in department stores) who has narrow size 11 feet. I would happily provide my my specific pants size, but that fluctuates from 6-10 depending what store I shop at, what style pants I select, and what year year I am shopping. Seriously.

Now, in truth, 5'9" is not that tall. Yet, I am able to find long-size pants at approximately one out of every 100 stores I visit, and then usually only in a style I don't like or a size I don't need.

"We sell them online," sales associates often tell me. Well, if I wanted to buy the pants online, I wouldn't be standing in their store asking for the pants, would I? I came to the store to try the pants on and see if I like how they fit. This is not possible online, and it certainly is not possible when I am given a pair of pants that comes to the tops of my ankles. It's not as though the "long" version of the pants merely adds 2" of material to the bottom of the regular size; "long" pants usually have a completely different fit.

As if that weren't bad enough, stores also seem to assume that not only do women not have long legs, but that their feet do not grow any larger than a size 10. If, by some miracle, I do find a shoe I like in a size 11 it is then either wide enough to fit both of my feet inside or features a 6" heel. Nine out of ten women wearing a shoe size larger than 10 do not need their center of gravity to be higher off the ground than it already is. I, for one do not appreciate being made to look like a wobbly Amazon giantess.

All of this aside, 5'9" is only 5" taller than the national average. What about women who are 6" or 7" taller? What about women above 6'? Based on my small sampling of extra-tall female friends, these women tend to wear either skirts or leggings, and they either learn to balance on stilt-like shoes, or they settle for flip-flops. Or, in my case, I wear pants to the point of disintegration and, so long as I am not going to work or to a wedding, men's sneakers.

I guess tall women's options are a) look like a model or b) look like a bum. Frankly, being a model sounds like too much work, so I'm going to put on my sweatpants now and go eat some chocolate to comfort myself after this frustrating day of shopping.

Next weekend rant? Shopping in one of the most crowded cities on earth.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Having big thighs, but being small in all other areas also sucks. 90% of the skinny jeans I try on look insanely tight and make me look GIANT!! American Eagle seems to have good jeans, if that helps...