- Procure a Tootsi Pop, still fully assembled with stick and wrapper.
- Wrap the still-packaged head of the lollipop in a sheet of paper, bringing the corners of the paper down around the stick. Twist to seal.
- Smash the double-wrapped head of the lollipop onto an unoccupied subway seat several times.
- Carefully unwrap the paper from around the lollipop, catching all broken shards of candy inside the paper. Hand this to your friend.
- Remove the wrapper from what remains of the head of the lollipop. Consume remaining shards of candy and Tootsi Roll as desired.
The Fine Print: Instructions have been derived from a demonstration performed by two adolescent African-American males on a Queens-bound F train. Writer will not be held accountable for reactions from other passengers, sugar-related injuries, or other unforeseen circumstances. Results may vary. See demonstrators for details.