Causation

Fume Hoods and Transitive Verbs

I hate being needy. Or, rather, I hate feeling dependent. It’s one thing to feel comforted or to be taken care of—that’s nice. However, what I don't like is feeling incompetent. Consequently, this makes my not-being-a-lab-scientist and not-being-a-statistician-or-analyst terribly frustrating, considering the duties I have taken on at work. It is difficult enough to speak intelligently with an award-winning bacteria researcher or a renowned immunologist, never mind then having to turn the information from those conversations into articles simple and interesting enough for laypeople to read.

This is what I do for Beyond the Bench, the blog on our Current Protocols website. As I delve into topics for each blog article, I find myself reaching out to every friend and coworker I know who either works or has worked in a lab, asking about everything from what rights rats have to what a blastema is. Yes, this is research, but it is also a clear indication—even merely to myself—of how little I know about science--or any topic, really. (Because even after I write each article, I would have to reread it in order to recall any of the information I wrote in it. How about that for short-term memory?!)

Meanwhile, my job seems to be ever-sliding toward some sort of number-crunching mania. Unfortunately, neither high school nor college prepared me even slightly in the way of Excel manipulation, so as I struggle along, my lifelines consist of:

• a few in-house numerical whizzes whom I try never to bother because a) they are probably more swamped with number-related projects than I am, and b) because, quite honestly, I am ashamed to admit my own incompetency
  
• one hometown friend who is a computer genius, but whom I feel horribly guilty for taking such advantage of, since I feel virtually useless in return
  
• one brilliant cousin who is also an Excel guru but of whose generosity I also feel guilty of abusing, even if he is family
  
• Google, which—in spite of its awesome power—does not always have the answer (thus leading me to grovel at the feet of one of my formerly mentioned options)

This is not to say I am completely useless. On a rare occasion, someone will have an essay they need to have looked over or a resume proofread. More often than not, however, the people who ask me to do these things are not the same people I ask for help--thus, leaving me feeling just as guilty and indebted as ever. (Because as much as I would like to believe in karma, I simply cannot help feeling that I owe people favors who do me favors. Even if I don't necessarily want people feeling that they owe me when I can help them with something like an essay. It's hypocritical, I know.)

The other day, however, I did have the good fortune of finally giving back to someone who had helped me. The interaction started with my usual neediness: I contacted a friend online to find out how exactly a fume hood works in a laboratory. (I'm writing about laboratory efficiency for my next CP blog article, but since I don't work in a laboratory, I figured it would be easiest to ask someone who does. This particular friend, R___, works in a research lab at Harvard.)

A little while later, after he had finished answering my questions, R___ returned to ask me, "What's a transitive verb?" At first, I was so surprised to see the question, I nearly didn't give a proper answer. Then, I was so eager to answer, I almost gave too much information. Finally! Someone was asking me a question I could help them with! I quickly supplied a definition, an example, and a counterexample in quick succession. And what was even more exciting? He actually seemed interested! A scientist was interested in the definition of a transitive verb! Wonders will never cease.

Meanwhile, already at 9 a.m. my day was complete: I had returned a favor and proven myself not only useful, but also knowledgeable. I might not have a Ph.D. in physics, and I may not (yet?) know how to manipulte the WOMBAT bibliometric template in Excel, but hey, I can define a transitive verb, and I can define it well!

A win's a win!

Here are the results from the Treesdale Turkey Trot. Although it was a rather small race--fewer than 200 people total--I guess it still counts that I won my age group, right? My third race win ever!

Total Time: 23:13

Pace: 7:29 (yikes! that's practically my half-marathon pace....)

Age Group Place (female 20-24): 1 of 4

Overall Place: 28 of 175

Snapshot Book Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

What I disappointing ending. First of all, the word that epitomizes this book is "dreary." The characters spend the first two-thirds of it wandering around, wallowing in self-pity, and getting on one another's nerves. The Nagini attack scene was stimulating, but it was such a sporadic event amidst all the general doom and gloom that marked the majority of the book, it actually seemed out of place.

Then, of course, it was painfully predictable that Harry would have to make some sort of self-sacrificing move that would, in turn, save him at the hand of his woefully uninformed foe, Voldemort (because aren't the villains always too arrogant and therefore stupid for their own good?). The epic battle scene at the end actually had me laughing out loud when Kreacher came galloping in with all the other elves--the text read something like, "they charged in, stabbing all of the ankles and knees they could reach." How could I take language like that seriously?

And of course the wand would choose Harry as its true master. Personally I thought it would be most interesting if Draco Malfoy entered back into the equation somehow, concerning the wand's ownership and allegiance, but Harry was the most noble and beloved character, and therefore most deserving of every accolade.

Honestly, after Snape's memory was revealed in the penseive (another high point in the novel, I thought), the remainder of the book dragged out. Most superfluous of all was the Epilogue. Had Rowling thrown in any more couples with their children, she could have started a new series right there in that chapter. Won't Scholastic be thrilled if that was her intention all along!

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Snapshot Book Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As I may have said in one of my earlier reviews, each of these books can be captured with one apt adjective. Unfortunately, the adjective for this book is "predictable."

The major argument against my assessment will be the fact that this book is "necessary to set up HP #7." However, I think this was a shortcoming on Rowling's part. After all, she wrote all of the other books as stand-alone, complete stories in their own right. I see no reason why this book should have been any different.

Which, of course, leads me to my disappointment with the book's predictability. One of my favorite features of the HP books has been their unpredictable endings; Rowlings always writes her novels in such a way that no reader, no matter how closely they follow the details of the story, can fully predict the conclusions. Being a close reader myself, this gave me something to look forward to in each book, because making predictions--and being delighted when they are turned upside down--is one of my favorite things about reading. The Half-Blood Prince, however, came out exactly as I expected. Of course Draco was bad, but not bad enough to actually kill Dumbledore. Of course Dumbledore had to die. Of course the Horocrux had to be a fake, after Harry and Dumbledore went through all that heartache to get it.

The novel was by no means boring, but ultimately, it left me disappointed. Then again, however, Rowlings certainly obliged her readers to follow through the end of the series, because if they didn't read #7, they'd never find out of Snape had really betrayed Dumbledore or not....

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