Listing

I’m a chronic list-maker. To-do lists, shopping lists, reading lists . . . if it can be listed, I have probably put it in a column with bullets. It is because of my analytical nature that I am addicted to making lists: they provide the perfect format for organizing thoughts lineraly. And furthermore, if things don't come out as orderly as you like, you can always filter the list and sort according to what is linear and orderly (or alphabetical or chronological . . . assuming you are working in Excel).

I’m also a chronic thinker. I analyze and over-analyze and re-analyze things that happen or are about to happen or have happened. I’ve gotten considerably better at not allowing my thoughts to influence my immediate actions, emotions, and therefore relationships with people, but given an idle moment and lack of reading material, the thoughts come crashing in. (Russell Peters has a particularly amusing skit about this.)

I often write my lists during times when I have nothing to do but sit and think. I recently came across one such list, which I had written when sitting in a place where one has nothing to do but sit and think: church. As a teenager, all I did in church was scribble in the white margins of the bulletin with the pinkie-sized pencils they kept in the pew. (I say pencils—plural—because often I would have to go through several of them in one service, particularly if no one had bothered to sharpen their tips since the week before.) I wrote about anything I could conjure in my mind: short story ideas, letters to my friends, offbeat limericks, and of course, lists.

The list I discovered recently was written on the back of a page of then-being-anointed deacons, from 2003. It’s actually a pair of lists concerning a topic that, at the time, was forefront in my mind: Reasons I would make a ___ girlfriend.

Reasons I would make a terrible girlfriend

1. I am a worrywart.
   
2. I don’t show affection well.
   
3. I’m not hot.
   
4. I tend to be serious and thoughtful rather than bubbly and spontaneous.
   
5. I have very little spare time.
   
6. I have never had the experience of being anyone’s girlfriend.

Reasons I would make a good girlfriend

1. I am not a flirt.
   
2. I put all my effort into things that matter to me.
   
3. I am faithful and honest.
   
4. I love writing to people. (Although if you don’t like to read….)
   
5. I have no “skeletons in the closet” (i.e. ex-boyfriends).

It’s mind-boggling to think how far I’ve come this! I want to put my arm around my old self, give her a hug, and tell her not to worry about (or believe!) most of these things. Yet some of them (I must admit) I still agree with, even if they don’t necessarily pertain to being a good or bad girlfriend. I am more serious and thoughtful than bubbly and spontaneous. And I don’t leave much spare time in my schedule. (This was even more true back when I wrote this list, to be sure!) And, to date, I still have not yet had the experience of “being a girlfriend.” However, I’m not sure these are reasons I would make a bad girlfriend. (Side note: I am particularly amused that my first list gives reasons I would make a “terrible” girlfriend, while the second list gives reasons I would make only a “good” girlfriend. I suppose I did not believe I could possibly qualify as "great" . . . .)

So, for the revised lists:

Reasons I might make a pretty poor girlfriend

1. I overthink everything.
   
2. I admittedly fulfill the overly talkative female stereotype.
   
3. I keep myself very busy.
   
4. I am a tad OCD about cleanliness.
   
5. I am not small enough to be “cuddly.” (The traditional “big man, small woman” dichotomy helps guys feel manly and powerful—why else do 6’4” men marry 5’-nothing women?—and if any guy tries to tell me this isn’t true, he is LYING.)

Reasons I might make a pretty great girlfriend

1. I am loyal, honest, and I commit myself to making people I care about happy.
   
2. I love sports. Especially playing them.
   
3. I like cooking. And baking. And feeding people.
   
4. I am very good at “keeping in touch.” Give me a means of communication and I will use it.

Now, off to make the list of ingredients I need for my New Year's Eve dish, and the list of outfits I might wear, and the list of what I need to clean when my guest A___ leaves (like the kitchen floor!!!). . . .

Pittsburgh is a NATURAL City

Having lived in Pittsburgh all my life, I never stopped to consider any of its communities outside of a purely pragmatic standpoint. The mall was located in Monroeville. The movie theatre was in the Waterfront. The bowling alleys were in North Versailles (pronounced, of course, "ver-sales"). This Christmas, however, as I explored the 'burgh with a friend who hails not only from L.A.--where she is currently earning her master's degree--but from Singapore (her home country), I began to realize that the communities around Pittsburgh have distinctly "natural" sounding names.

Consider, for instance, the many animal-themed communities we have:

• Turtle Creek
  
• Squirrel Hill
  
• Fox Chapel

Then, consider all of these forestry-inspired communities:

• Oakland
  
• White Oak
  
• Shadyside
  
• Forest Hills
  
• Edgewood

Incredible, huh? And it only took me five years of living away from the city to make this realization!

Snapshot Book Review: Push

Push by Sapphire

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I love "voice books": novels with strong, unique first-person narrators. The most impressive "voice books" I have read to date come from African-American authors such as Toni Morrison, Zora Neale Hurston, and Alice Walker. Sapphire adds another notable book to this collection, with Push.

What strikes me as particularly genuine--and therefore impressive--is the way that Precious, the narrator, depicts other characters in the novel. Her parents, in particular are awful, despicable people who treat her horrifically, and yet she does not seem to harbor a burning hatred or festering resentment against them. As you are repulsed by what you watch happening to Precious, her way of narrating the events and her reactions to them make you not only feel compassion for her, but also for the people doing these things to her. Somehow, she manages to come through as determined instead of hardened, and this is quite an accomplishment to depict in a fictional first-person narrator.

What's more, Precious' voice and writing style improve as the book progresses. An interesting linguistic/literary task would be to take this book and analyze the progression from a linguistic standpoint, to judge exactly what progress she was making and within what timeframe in relation to the events of the novel.

However, what prevents this book from being a 5-star book is the fact that it does not seamlessly incorporate Precious' first-person narration as written by Sapphire with her own "written narration" as she learns to write. I'm not quite sure how this could have been accomplished more efficiently, but forcing the reader to decipher, "Okay, is this Precious the 'mind' narrating here, or is it Precious the 'writer'?" breaks up the rhythm and flow of the novel, especially because although the tone and story remained consistent between the "Precious the mind" and "Precious the writer," the quality and literary merit of the two were not identical and became more and more difficult to decipher as the novel went along. Yet they were never allowed to completely blend: indicating that Precious still had a long road ahead of her, which was obviously very appropriate to the book, but it didn't bring the novel full-circle to the fact that she was narrating--and perhaps writing?--it from the start.

I hope to see the movie adaptation of this, primarily to see how Precious and Blue Rain are represented cinematically. I am also curious to see just how graphic Hollywood will be with all of the sexual issues, especially as they pertain to both parents.

View all my reviews >>

Epic Long Run #2

In answer to what I am sure you are already wondering, no, you did not miss reading about “Epic Long Run #1.” The fact is that I never posted about it. However, as I have now completed my second “epic” long run, I suppose I must mention the first.

Different criteria will qualify a particular long run as “epic” but the most common qualifiers are extreme weather conditions. These, in fact, are what I am using to qualify my first two Epic Runs. Epic Long Run #1 was a 12-mile nighttime run (or, in actuality, an 11.5 mile run, much to my chagrin) through ceaseless downpour. I ran from my apartment in Woodside, over the Queensborough Bridge, across Manhattan, and then one loop around Central Park. Travelling home on the subway, I made my own personal puddle on the floor and received some very pleasant looks from fellow passangers. Nothing like a nice wet rider to stare at!

Today’s Epic Long Run (#2) was a fine, frigid 19 ° F run along the same route, only with a return trip on the pavement, as opposed to on the subway. Just cold enough to burn the skin right off my face and freeze my fingertips to the point of excrutiating pain! Nike really should think about making gloves with specially-insulated fingertips. And why didn’t Apple make its iTouch glove-friendly?!

The Beginnings of a Winter Running List of From a “Beginner” Winter Runner:

• Run In The Sun. You need to utilize as many heat sources as possible, and as wintry as it may seem outside, your fingers really will thank you for that extra .001 ° of heat.
  
• Grease up. Most long-distance runners already know the value of Body Glide, but that’s because chafing happens all year. Slathering your face with Vaseline? That’s a wintertime-only practice. Thank you childhood sledding excursions for that little bit of innovation!
  
• Layer. Tightly. I used to be a proponent of looser, “easier to move in” clothing such as hoodless sweatshirts and cuffed sweatpants. However, since your core heats you up when you run, it makes sense to keep that heat as close as possible. Don’t add bulkier layers to stay warmer, just add “better” ones—and more of them.

Lastly, here is a map of today’s route. I had intended just to loop around the reservoir in Central Park, but then I was feeling pretty good at E92nd street, so I just decided to complete the full perimeter of Central Park. After all, next week is 16 miles in horribly HILLY Pittsburgh, so I need to lay all the groundwork I can. . . .

Not-so-Dutch Apple Pie

Ingredients

• 8 c peeled, pared, sliced tart baking apples (slightly < 3 pounds apples; Granny Smith are best)
  
• 1 c golden raisins
  
• 1 c sugar
  
• 2 T all purpose flour
  
• 1 t cinnamon
  
• 1/2 t nutmeg
  
• 1/4 t salt
  
• generous 1/2 t grated lemon rind
  
• 3 t fresh lemon juice
  
• 2 T butter
  
• Pastry dough for a double pie crust
  
• 1 egg yolk
  
• 1 T water
  
• 1/2 c heavy or whipping cream

Roll out half of pastry dough and place in a 9-inch pie pan.

Combine apple slices, raisins, and lemon juice in a large bowl. Mix sugar, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and lemon rind separately, and then add to fruit mixture. Turn into pie plate. Dot with butter.

Preheat oven to 425° F. Roll out remaining pastry dough. Cut into strips and layer lattice-style on top of apples. Crimp with bottom crust edge to seal. Mix egg yolk with water and brush over top crust. Pour whipping cream through various slits in the top.

Bake for 35-40 minutes. Remove from oven and cool on rack. Serve warm or room temperature.

Reviews from the workplace:

• Thanks for the pie, it was delicious and it hit the spot!
  
• Amazingly delicious! I would never have thought to put raisins in, and I really enjoyed the flavor and texture they added.
  
• 5 start awesomeness,,,loved the raisins
  
• OMG, it is awesome. I could eat the whole thing myself!
  

Adapted from Dutch Apple Pie Recipe at Terri’s Kitchen